Slipping into the night.

This is for you, because you have to know
This was never your fault. 

It was upon day unlike others
When I woke she was gone
When next I saw her vision
I was told I am no longer wanted
And as she stepped away so too did life
I just didn't know it yet
Time waits for no one
And so forth I took myself
I had lost the brilliance in my everyday
But there is still a tomorrow
And so I took what I had in today
And gambled it upon a tomorrow
I learned to fly upon the land
But none found me good enough to do so
I stood to try again
Reaching out into the dark
But there is nothing to grasp
I tried to love again
But only left hurt in my wake
I cannot stand anymore
I cannot see any light
All the hope I've got is for others
And I have no hope left for me
Please forgive me as I slip away into the night.

We all die some day. That is the inescapable truth of life. It ends.
But even when that end comes, the world continues on spinning.
And long after we are all gone, the world will still be there, rolling on without us.
So does any it matter? Do any of us matter?
My answer is yes, but only right now, only until tomorrow. Beyond that? not any more. We are but fleeting memories riding on the winds of time.
My choice will matter today, and It'll matter tomorrow.
But I doubt that's what you're looking for here. Its probably for a why. Why would I do this.

The short answer is that I have no hope that the future has anything for me.

No matter how I look at it, it's bleak and empty. I get to pay bills and work. Explore a world already explored. Meet new people that will leave, and become attracted to new girls that will also use me and then throw me away. Games are little more than a passing distraction. And while most people agree that they would like to see my written work go to print in some form or another, I just don't see the point anymore.
I give up. I'm tired of hurting. I am tired of bringing people down, and tired of hurting them.
You can call all of this whatever you want. Excuses. A weakness. It'll be whatever you decide it is.

I did reach out for help though. I do want you to know that. I didn't just give up. I tried to work towards something better. And when that failed on me I tried to make something of myself. But It seems I was never good enough there either. And the more I tried reaching out the harder it became to try and try again.

I reached out for people that I cared about. Many more I didn't reach out to because... I don't know. I didn't want to hurt them any more. I was met mostly with "Just cheer up already." I wish it was that easy. Others simply ignored my reach, probably because they don't want to see it. Pretend it wont happen and it wont. I cannot fault anyone for that. And the one person that really tried to help, they did their best. They did. But the longer they tried the more they were hurt by me. And I couldn't bear to do that anymore.

I have found myself more alone than I ever wanted to be. But I don't blame anyone for it. Everyone has their own life to lead. Their own dreams to chase. I have only myself to blame for the situation I have found myself in.

Asking for forgiveness now is selfish. But that's all I've got left.
I'm sorry I'm weak. I'm sorry I couldn't bear to try anymore.

Waiting for the rain

I'm waiting for the rain,
Waiting on the thunder.

We laughed and cried,
Held each other close.

Never had I ever slept so well,
As when  I was with you.

But it wasn't going to last,
Here was not for you.

My arms were warm,
But it was my wallet you wanted.

I loved you with all my heart,
But that was never enough.

I'm  lost now,
And you are nowhere.

I'm waiting for the rain,
To hide the tears I wish to cry.

Waiting on the thunder,
So no one can hear me leave.

Endless Assault

Endless Assault


The concept is this,

   -Top down space shooter, using the wsad/mouse for movement and aim respectivly.

   -Pre-generated universe, Idealy suited in on the galaxy Start small and expand out as needed?
   Im thinking 30 maybe fourty star systems to start, SOL included.
Maps can always be expanded, though we would have to be mindful that there is infact only so much space we should allow.

   -Three teams,
    Teams
        Player
       
        Children of Terra       
            Round desings
            Missle Focus
            Sheild focus
           
        Pointy bastards       
            Triangular designs / wide
            Beam focus
            Speed focus
           
        Brickstar                
            Blocks! / Long
            Cannon focus
            Hull focus
       
        NPC
       
        Endless
            Lower teir - haphazard style
            Higher Teir - sleek and sexy
            Multi-target weapons
            Numbers over defensive focus
            Can change to lower teir ships as they are destroyed. They come apart so to speak.

    Player Ships
   
        Player ships have only general weight designations
        there are a lot of ways to specialize and grow designs to player taste
       
        Light     
            Two free hangar slots 
            Five max hangar slots
            Short respawn times
            Very low rebuild costs
            Cannot be docked with
            Can dock with anything
               
        Medium   
            One free hangar
            Three hangar slots max
            Medium respawn times times
            Can be docked with
            Two players max
       
        Heavies
            Two max Hangar slots
            Long respawn times
            Two dock slots
               
        Specialists
            Specialist crafts that have specific design purposes not matching their weight classifications
            Three max hangar slots
            Longest respawn times
            Usually, but not always, needs docked player to be effective


   - Three main systems to drop points into
    Offence
        Beams
            Range
            Drain
            Burn
        Cannons
            Range
            AR
            Peircing
        Missiles
            Range
            AR
            Lock speed/reticle
   
    Defence
        Sheilds    + max
            Regeneration
            projectile resist
            Cloaking
        Hull          +max
            Deflection
            Weight Reductions?
            Point defence
        Speed      +Accel
            Manouvering
            Disable Res
            Boost.
   
    Subsystems
        Molecular forge   -Storage capacity
            Processing speed
            Ammo construction efficiency
            Armor repair efficiency
           
        Generators        - Energy capacity
            Production efficiency
            Passive drain efficiency
            Cloak fields       
           
        Sensors           -Radarrange/veiw
            Cloak Detection
            Critchance/resist
            AI efficiency



Game engine                    Unity
Server softtware?              Still no idea yet.

Characername > Shipnames

Bring on the Sun

Bring on the Sun 
And let it shine on forever.

Bring on the sun
Let the light reclaim
And the world know warmth

This night has been long
It will be longer yet
But it will end

Desire has little sway here
Hopes and dreams
Both amount to nothing 

The night reigns on
Reaching out far and wide
Grasping at every edge

Lights burning away in the dark
Fading to the unyielding black
Lost before the morning rises

My fire is spent

Darkness rushes in

And the night is cold

I no longer have the strength 

No hope for a brighter tomorrow

This is where it ends

Let it be the start of something new
Give us a new dawn
Bring on the sun